October 6, 2014
When you threw your graduation cap in the air, you not only celebrated your entry into the adult life, but also your departure from the social black hole that was high school. What you didn’t know was that the world of social media would soon explode, allowing those acquaintances and annoyances from your past to crop up again, under new guises.
Consider this your Social Network Yearbook, In Gif Form!
You’ll find them on Twitter and Facebook, lamenting or bragging about their favorite team. You may not know much about them, but you definitely know who they root for and how their Fantasy League team is doing. Their default photo is almost always a pro athlete.
These guys know more about technology than you do, and they show it. They may not be as active on the more mainstream networks, but you’ll find them on forums, Reddit, and Google Plus. The nerds are into a broad range of topics, but it seems that they’re successful enough to blog about these topics from the latest gadget.
These guys seem to pop up whenever there’s a current event. Arguably one of the more irritating cliques, the Debate Team likes to point out the faux paus of other users. While social networks can be great for sharing news, they’re probably better off blogging rather than trolling Facebook. Not aligned politically with them? Good luck.
Their Twitter is a running feed of Foursquare check-ins, their Instagram is a catalog of #selfies, and they wax poetic on their Facebook statuses. You don’t know why you accepted their friend request, but you regret it. Why can’t everyone just stick to anonymous networks? Unfortunately, they appear to only grow stronger by the positive feedback and enablers that exist on their network.
In high school, this student was infamous for doing an unnecessary amount of work. They’d read the book before it was assigned and ruin the curve for everyone else. On social media, they aren’t any different. They exist solely to make you feel bad about yourself. Whether it’s instagramming their beautiful vacation pictures, tweeting their running mileage, or sharing their new job status on Facebook, they’re definitely more #blessed than the rest of us.
They’re the ones with the “get rich quick” plans. You may have never spoken to this person in high school, but now they want you to “like” their weird photography or YouTube page. They hit you up on LinkedIn for an endorsement and tweet at celebrities seeking those 15 minutes of viral fame. It’s nice to support an up-and-coming entrepreneur, but no, I won’t watch your “unboxing” Vlog.
Their Instagram page is always going to look better than yours, end of story. It’s a shame to think of all of the meals that have gone cold in order to achieve the perfect food Instagram.
Everyone has an over-sharing couple. Whether its photos of their dates, PTA, kids, or month-by-month anniversaries, we’re over it. Hopefully they calm down once the honeymoon phase ends… or maybe have an equally public breakup.
Okay, admit it, you only follow this person for the entertainment. Maybe they think The Onion is actually fact, maybe they have really bad grammar, maybe you should really stop encouraging people like this.
Embarrassing you, as always.
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