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January 9, 2016: The Digital Marketing profession is filled with weird terms and job titles. More often than not, these titles are imaginative re-namings of more prosaic positions, but occasionally reveal something real and surreal about the state of marketing.

Here’s a quick survey of the weirdest digital marketing jobs we’ve seen advertised on the Web. Apply to these positions at your own risk.

1. Data Wrangler. Get along little data dogies — it’s time to go home. With all due respect to Roy Rogers, this job title comes from the data-soaked world of digital media production. The Data Wrangler’s job is to make sure that no hard drives or other data-containing items are left on the set after the talent leaves. We’re big John Wayne fans, but the truth is that most Digital Wranglers are nothing more than glorified Pixel Pushers.

2. SEO Rock Star. SEOs — and the people who hire them — appear to enjoy music and thus haven’t explicitly dissociated themselves from the “Rock Star” label. The same is true of marketers generally, who want to understand themselves as arty and independent. Operationally, SEO teams work a bit like bands: there is often a one or two-person brain center (Lennon/McCartney, Richards/Jagger, Morrison/Manzarak), and a couple of very talented sidemen/women to bring the show off.

3. SEO Ninja. We almost included this title in Lame Marketing Phrases. Ninjas — like rock stars — pursue their own aims far outside the corpus of the state. They’re unconventional, autonomous, barrier-breaking change makers. SEO ninjas push the envelope — but the problem is that the envelope always pushes back.

4. (Fill in the Blank) Evangelist. Telling a certain department to “get religion” about updating its practices — especially in respect to IT — has long been a practice in the C-Suite.  Wearing clerical garb to your interview is not recommended.

5. Magic Maker – this odd but actual title denotes an inbound sales specialist who connects clients with internal company resources.

6. Any Kind of “Wizard.” It’s ludicrous that a term from mythology is taken seriously in today’s corporate world, along with the implication that this so-called ‘wizard’ can wave his/her magic wand and solve all of your digital marketing problems.

7. Director of Storytelling. We’re fans of Mr. Rogers and Tom Hanks, but the term “storytelling” will never shed its gather-round-the-campfire kumbaya feel. Stories are important — core to the way our brain works. Joseph Campbell and all that. But doesn’t a creative director do that?

7. Chief Fun Officer. We came across an architectural firm advertising for a Chief Fun Officer. The job is literally to find fun things the whole company can do together. A related title is “Chief Enjoyment Officer.” Whether these jobs are actually fun is a function of the local catering and A/V infrastructure.

8. Dream Alchemist – this term was obviously coined by a creative director looking for more meaningful differentiation. Thankfully, it rarely shows up anymore on Monster or LinkedIn.

10. Data Priest/Data Rabbi/Data Shaman. “Does God exist?,” asks the data priest/rabbi/shaman. “Let’s look at the data — in fact, let’s look at all of the data — at the same time.” You’re going to have to look long and hard for digital positions like this on Web job boards, but they miraculously pop up from time to time.

Know of a weird Digital Marketing Job Title that we’ve missed? Please send it on.

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